Best Of, Cont’d: Poetic Archaeology

My Top 3

First, I’m glad for the increased readership of my blog in this “Best of” series, but I wish fewer people were attracted by the one entry where I mentioned Satan long ago. Clearly the mention of the Dark Lord outweighs any consideration of depression or literature, but in our tabloid mentality we knew that. I would ask readers to stop entering the blog through that page, but who knows? Maybe that’s their introduction to the whole blog–but I severely doubt it. Let’s face it, the allure of the Devil often outweighs the attraction of the Almighty. Nevertheless I’m going back to change the title of that post in order to obtain a more accurate count of bona fide visitors.

From 4/6/07 (and there must be a bevy journals to add to this list now):

God, what a nuisance! I’ve been trying to sort my publications, some indexed by the names journals, some by the titles of individual pieces, and some by other titles for the same pieces. Using Google and other sources, I have managed to discover, so far, the journals either without a website or without archives to include my past work:

If I am in error about any of these, I would appreciate a note from readers or their scattered connections on the literary Internet.

There are also journals who list me in their archives as a contributor, but strangely, have no record of or links to my poems–often right next to another poet whose links are still good. I assume this is random and not personal, though I have made some enemies in my faux career.

Anyway, my back hurts terribly from sitting despite the new pain medication, even though I did go easy at the gym yesterday. Since my recent cold I’ve put at least ten pounds back on from not exercising regularly, then Kathleen and I also became derelict re: our low carb high protein diet.

Three steps forward and four steps back.

Is it discouraging to find so much of your work erased from the net forever? Here’s an advantage: when there is no record of a work I consider it unpublished and open for submission again, a liberty I don’t take with print–which may appear inconsistent until you realize that with print publications I can still hold the evidence in my greedy little narcissistic hand. Where all evidence is erased, can anything have happened?

Speaking of narcissism, Kathleen and I watched the original “Sunset Boulevard” last night, and Kathleen threatened to fall asleep before the end, whereupon I threatened her with this: “You can never call me narcissistic again if you don’t finish this movie.” I mean, c’mon–compared to Norma Desmond even poets are normal. (Such a comparison does stretch the (Marvin) Bell curve.)

Ah, so little to say, so much to write. We’ll be house sitting for my sister this weekend in the lovely SF suburb of Burlingame, while she goes south to check out the alma mater of my middle daughter and myself, UCLA. My sister’s only daughter is making the college tour now, and from what I understand, likely has her choice of most, and money is no object thanks to the prudent planning of her parents. I had to put myself through college and medical school, which includes loans, of course. And I couldn’t help my one college graduate daughter much monetarily, though some; mostly I provided emotional support and medical expertise–I’m still very proud that she, a bipolar I, got through UCLA in four years–a miracle. She has guts and determination, which can sometimes appear as an extreme and brittle stubbornness.

Enough about family. Like photos from a wallet, all that patter is a bore, isn’t it? Here’s a photo of my grandson:

I’m in a mixed state–fragile and sort of +2 and -2 at the same time–cried on the treadmill yesterday, have been anxious–but while I’m working I naturally feel better as I am not thinking about myself even if I’m writing about myself, which writers understand.

What’s a kilorat and a kilobunny at the same time?

Put me at two kilobats.

Thine,

CEThanks for reading!